The perfectionist trap

It’s hard to believe my first year of the AMC program is coming to a close. I’ve learned so much about blogging this year and I’ve grown as a writer. However I’ve also learned a lot about myself in the process.

And I have a confession to make. I’m a perfectionist. But it’s more complicated than that…

One of my biggest learning moments this semester came after talking with a friend. That’s when I started to really understand perseveration.

The Dictionary of Biological Psychology describes Persevaration as “a wide range of functionless behaviours that arise from a failure of the brain to either inhibit prepotent responses or to allow its usual progress to a different behavior, and includes impairment in set shifting and task switching in social and other contexts.”

Which is basically a fancy way for saying stuck.

I get stuck on things.

Blogging has been a challenge for me. I’m a terrible self-editor. And all of this has led me to my biggest takeaway from blogging this year – just write.

Hitting that publish button is HARD for me. My brain can find a million reasons why my work isn’t good enough and I’ll probably forgot something important and it’s probably stupid anyway and what if what if what if… 

I’ve had to force myself to write this year. Sometimes it’s an uncomfortable process, but I think there’s a lot of value in that. Writing for a global audience still feels weird. But I’ve met some incredible people in the short time I’ve been blogging here.

Now that I’m officially on vacation I hope to devote more time to growing this blog and writing about whatever interests me instead of what I have to write about.

But first, I’m going to sleep all weekend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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